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Questions to get to know friends better

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Questions to ask a new friend to get to know better

Is there anything more exciting than meeting someone for the first time and getting to ask them for their life story? Whether it's a first date , first hang—whatever—the door of possibilities is swung WIDE open and you get to spend the next few hours just learning about each other and what makes you tick.

Of course, with great power comes great responsibility aka anxiety over what to ask. Thankfully, we've assembled the experts to give you a handy dandy checklist of exactly what questions to ask when you want to get to know someone. Generally speaking, the more open-ended a question, the more info you'll learn about them, so try to word these as chill as possible. And if you're stuck with someone who answers "What's your most salient memory of childhood trauma?

You can determine if they're compatible with yours," says Jonathan Bennett , a relationship expert. This question unpacks not only what the other person values, but also lets you glance into your potential compatibility, says Veronica Grant , a love and life coach. There's no right or wrong answer, but depending on your personality like you're a go-getter and they're happy just coasting through life , this question will take you straight to any potential personality clashes.

You can either weed them out, or start a fun convo about what the two of your visions together would look like, says Grant. We are taught to identify ourselves by our jobs, hobbies, and our education boring! Their answer will let you know what they think is unfulfilled in their life and what they hope for, says Diane Strachowski , PhD, a licensed psychologist and expert on attachment theory.

Did they wish for love? Monetary things? A promotion? Nothing says red flag like a dude with nothing but "crazy" exes. Not everyone is super close with their family, but depending on how they view their relationship with them, this can tell you a lot.

If they say "no one" and dealt with stressful situations alone, this is a good indicator that this is how they'll handle current and future stressors now. On the other hand, if they went to their parents all the time for everything, they might need a lot of validation from a partner, explains Strachowski.

Sure, combining finances is a step for WAY down the line, but still, it's worth asking as finances can be a huge issue in relationships, according to Paul. It can also be a good indicator of how they deal with life, in general. Are spontaneous weekend trips to Paris going to be a thing? Or are you guys gonna cook dinner at home more often than not?

This question lets you see what they value and how they spend their free time, explains Strachowski. Are they most proud of how their city soccer team went last year, or do their eyes light up when they talk about the coffee table they built for their apartment last year?

How they answer will let you know what they expect from close ones during rough times, whether it be closeness and a shoulder to cry on, or space, explains Strachowski. If you wind up dating and you find that they withdraw from you when they're lonely, remind yourself of this so you don't take it personally. This question can give you insight into a person's core values, according to Bennett.

If they name their single mother for raising them, they value responsibility and family. If they rattle off someone like Woody Allen, you can run. By addictions, we mean anything from chocolate to working out or Netflix. The question is, are they going to be honest? Even if you're not planning on moving in together or you're just gonna be BFFs, someone's baseline definition of "messy" can be super insightful.

Are they gonna be pissed if you spread all your makeup out on the counter for a night out, or will you be annoyed if the laundry piles up on a chair for a week? Depending on how they answer, you can gain a lot of info on what they did or didn't get from their parents and what the admire or look for in a person of the opposite or same sex, according to Strachowski. If a coworker screws them over at work, are they going to stay up for days stewing about how to get revenge, or are they more the type to forgive and forget?

This one is interesting because it can open the door to either emotional history or just life stories in general. Was it when they got laid off from their dream job, or was it when they got lost while hiking with friends? How they answer reveals their ability to overcome conflict and challenges, says Berzack.

Another open-ended cutie that can segue into good follow-up questions, depending on how they answer. If it's a physical place like the gym, or that one great hiking spot on their favorite trail, you can talk about those interests. If it's a more abstract answer like "any time I finish a book that's so good I immediately flip to the first page and start again," that's a good convo starter, too. You can also use it to plan for future dates, gift ideas, etc.

If they don't cry, they may not be sensitive," says Strachowski. Again, if you're sobbing on a movie date in the future and look over to see nothin' but stoicism on their face, they're not a heartless robot—they just have a higher cry threshold than you. This can be an unobtrusive way to find out the extent to which your date is trying to control the world around him or her, says Berzack.

Plus, it opens the door for some lighthearted hate-bonding, whether it be over little or big things. Was the last time they got fired up because someone cut them off in traffic? Or, when they saw a bunch of people during rush hour refuse to give up their seat to an elderly person? By asking this question, you get insight into how the person views themselves and what they think is an important aspect of who they are," explains Christopher Ryan Jones , a sex therapist.

Not only does this give you a chance to potentially geek out over which Taylor Swift album is best the only correct answer is "Lover," obviously , but it also shows playfulness and vulnerability, especially if you've just met, says Deen.

This question lets you know two important things in one, explains Jones. It gives you insight into their past relationships and how they ended does everything seem to go up in a huge wreck, or do things end amicably?

Sometimes, a person's intentions can be clearly discussed by simply asking them. Strachowski recommends listening closely to see if what they're seeking aligns with what you can give someone right now. Are they looking for a romantic partner, a best friend, or just a casual movie-buddy?

This is a fun one that can tell you a lot about a person and their passions without them feeling too self-conscious about it, explains Deen.

Do they want to be directing movies? Working with animals? Traveling the world? Depending on their answer, you've also got great banter to go off of afterwards. United States. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Getty Khadija Horton. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site. Related Story. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below.

230 Questions to Get to Know Someone: Most Effective Questions to Ask

Is there anything more exciting than meeting someone for the first time and getting to ask them for their life story? Whether it's a first date , first hang—whatever—the door of possibilities is swung WIDE open and you get to spend the next few hours just learning about each other and what makes you tick. Of course, with great power comes great responsibility aka anxiety over what to ask. Thankfully, we've assembled the experts to give you a handy dandy checklist of exactly what questions to ask when you want to get to know someone. Generally speaking, the more open-ended a question, the more info you'll learn about them, so try to word these as chill as possible.

If you are in a bad mood, do you prefer to be left alone or have someone to cheer you up? If you had the ability to erase something that you did in the past, what would it be? If I asked you at age 5 what you wanted to be when you grew up, what would you say?

There are so many questions to ask a new friend that range from funny to weird. You may ask about the weather if you have nothing else to talk about, however, there are a lot more interesting ideas on the questions to ask a new person you meet. Below you will find a list of questions to ask a new friend. While some are easy to answer, some are not.

175 Fun Questions to Ask to Get to Know Someone

How well do you really know your bestie? Admittedly, you probably know just about everything. But maybe there are a few surprises in there. Sometimes, a few or 40 really specific questions will unleash a whole new side of the person you heart deeply. So, get a cup of coffee or mug of eggnog and get to know your BFF even more by asking him or her the following questions:. After asking my BFF these questions, I realized there is still so much to learn about the people we love the most. The more you know.

371 Deep Questions to Ask to Know Someone Deeply

Have you been out at a happy hour with co-workers lately and had to answer the same mundane questions about that project you're all working on? What about stuck at a dinner at a family reunion, asking your aunt for the tenth time about her college days? Or on a first date, powering through the typical first date questions—"Where'd you go to college? If you've answered yes to any of the above questions, you know how frustrating and boring it can be to ask and answer the same questions over and over again. There's nothing worse than having a boring, stifling conversation… just as there's nothing better than truly getting to know someone and learning something unique about them.

Whether you and your BFF have been close for several years or just recently met, there's still so much about them that you might not know. This is totally normal, even if you've been BFFs for a long time!

Getting to know someone you just met can be tough, especially if you are a nervous talker. When we get nervous, conversation may not come natural. When talking with someone to try and learn more about them, you should:. If you are looking to get to know someone, whether romantically or just looking to make new friends, this list of questions can help you learn more about them and help you never run out of conversational topics.

25 Questions to Ask If You Really Want to Get to Know Someone

Sometimes, you meet someone, and you just click. You feel like you've been besties your entire life and honestly can't believe there was a time when you didn't even know they existed. And then, there's those other relationships that take a little more work—i. The important thing here is to go deeper by asking follow-up questions.

When you've been friends with someone for years even decades , you probably think you've heard all their stories, laughed at all their jokes, and witnessed all their shining moments. Of course, you've seen—and supported—them at less than their best, too. But no matter how well you think you know your squad, you can always dig a little deeper. Ask your friends some questions that go way beyond the run-of-the-mill "How was your day? The first way to do this, according to Anna Akbari , PhD, a sociologist and former professor in the department of media, culture, and communication at New York University, is to ask your friends questions about their past so you can get a better picture of where they came from.

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There might be affiliate links on this page, which means we get a small commission of anything you buy. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Please do your own research before making any online purchase. Last Updated on April 3, One of the best ways to get to know someone better is by asking open-ended, deep questions. Even though many questions might sound generic and it may only incite small talk, the responses are usually very revealing. Sometimes, answers to personal questions will even reveal what an individual often hides from others or is afraid to tell most people.

Jump to Get To Know - Childhood memories are a powerful way to connect on a more personal level. 5 Get to Know You Questions To Ask Your Friends.‎Best · ‎For Your Best Friend · ‎Truth Or Dare · ‎Deep.

Getting to know someone in this day and age of hiding behind out screens can pose a unique challenge. In many ways, the art of conversation seems to be dying, and the sad consequence of that is people are feeling more isolated and disconnected than ever before. How well do you really know the people in your life, including those closest to you?

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