My boyfriend depressed pushing me away
Hi, im not very good at these. My girlfriend of two years has always struggled with severe anxiety and depression. She stopped taking medication for her depressive episodes before i met her, however this recent episode appears to be her worst, as in this time, she has almost completely pushed me away. For the past two years things have been wonderful, we have been in love, she was always super mushy and affectionate towards me, and we had plans for a future together. This past spring we had to take a break however due to our families, but we recovered and were happier than ever, finding new confidence in ourselves and eachother. However almost a month ago her episode began.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Love Someone Who Has Depression? This is What You Need to Know.
- Is Your Partner Depressed or Just Not That Into You?
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- My Depressed Boyfriend, Partner is Pushing Me Away: Try This
- What do I do if my partner with depression is pushing me away?
- Why do depressed people push loved ones away?
- Online forum
- Ask Erin: Is My Depression Pushing My Boyfriend Away?
Is Your Partner Depressed or Just Not That Into You?
Hi, im not very good at these. My girlfriend of two years has always struggled with severe anxiety and depression. She stopped taking medication for her depressive episodes before i met her, however this recent episode appears to be her worst, as in this time, she has almost completely pushed me away.
For the past two years things have been wonderful, we have been in love, she was always super mushy and affectionate towards me, and we had plans for a future together. This past spring we had to take a break however due to our families, but we recovered and were happier than ever, finding new confidence in ourselves and eachother. However almost a month ago her episode began. She began to slowly push me out, and while her previous episodes had never lasted long, i tried to just be there for her, console her, and make sure she knew i loved her with my everything.
She wasnt getting better, but she would still talk to me, and loved us. However i made a mistake of taking the depression personally, and it upset her greatly. Due to this, this past weekend she has turned severely cold on me. She attempted to break up with me one evening while calling me, but i told her she was being self destructive, to which she seemed to realize she was,and assured her that if she still wanted the breakup when she was no longer depressed, i would go.
She then told me that the relationship was putting pressure on her, and that she was no longer giving me the love and affection that she wanted to, and that the stress of it was hurting her, and she wanted to heal in her own right. I understood this and offered her space. I now only message her a good morning and a goodnight every day along with telling her im here for her.
She still posts on social media, especially twitter. She once told me she enjoys twitter because she feels it doesnt bother anybody, so i can understand why she posts so much. A once depressed friend of mine has consoled me with details of his partners and his struggle with his depression, and informed me of cycles that people who suffer with depression tend to face around certain times of the year.
I know my girlfriend gets stressed because of her family life and school, and saw this coming and tried my best to cushion it. Recently in her posts, she is following a similar cycle to when she was depressed last time, and im just wondering what i should do. She is my bestfriend and love of my life. Im just really terrified of losing her, especially since no more than a month ago she was head over heels for me, and coming to me constantly for everything, where as now i find out anything about her through social media.
This sounds so hard. I'm sorry that you are going through this. It sounds like on top heart break pain, you are also dealing with intense worry about your exes well being. It sounds like you are doing the right thing, giving her the space that she has asked for, even though I can imagine its very hard to remove yourself like that.
Have others ever been pushed away by a loved one who was mentally unwell? Or maybe the reverse, anyone out there ever push someone away when they themsleves were struggling?
It sucks! My boyfriend recently did a similiar thing to me. Everytime I was with him things were great. We were always very affectionate with each other. He was always hugging me, kissing me, cuddling with me, always touching me. He was happy and so was I. When he looked at me I knew he was in love. But, he has anxiety and depression. When he went home and was by himself he would start having thoughts which led to doubts. Doubts about our relationship and doubts about his own life.
He started to avoid me and our friends. I think he did try to fight these thoughts, but he is not treating his depression. He said he wanted to break up because he couldn't "emotionally connect" with me. Its ridiculous! I am not crazy, I know what I saw and felt just like you did. It skews their thoughts about reality. I know you love her, as I love him. I know this is hard to hear as it is hard to say. Don't chase her. She left you. Give her space and perhaps in a few weeks or a months she may return and realize what she did.
You must remember that although she isn't well you cannot let her get away with how she treated you. Having anxiety and depression is not a golden ticket to treat people badly.
If she does come back to you please have some respect for yourself. Make boundaries and conditions. She has to go to therapy and get back on track, especially with the medication if it worked in the past. Take it slow, make sure she is going and is processing it and is getting better before you jump into a relationship with her. I'm thinking in my own circumstances that it may be best to just move on, because I don't think he will go to therapy, he refuses.
Sometimes something significant has to happen to them which forces them to understand that they need help. Perhaps walking away is such an event. Depression happens in cycles. You need to know if you will be able to handle this in the future. I don't know if I can. Making and planning and executing a future with someone who has this is not easy and it can bring more heartache and pain in the future. Be well. I hope things have gotten better for you in the weeks since you wrote this.
I also hope that you have been looking after yourself because that is one of the things we can control - focus on what is best for us and what helps us to cope. Feel free to ring the SANE Helpline on 18 between 10am and 10pm eastern time if you'd like to talk about this to someone. Help Centre. New here? Chat with other people who 'Get it' with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive. Register Have an account? Turn on suggestions. Auto-suggest helps you quickly narrow down your search results by suggesting possible matches as you type.
Showing results for. Search instead for. Did you mean:. New Contributor. Depressed Girlfriend is pushing me away severely. Thank you -Patty.
Senior Contributor. Re: Depressed Girlfriend is pushing me away severely. Casual Contributor. You sound like a really caring and kind person. Please don't forget that in all this. All the best Joe the Lion. Further information: Loading
I am not sure even where to start I did post months back about my partner of 4 years. I feel we are on a rollercoaster ride. Good moments and bad moments He suffers from severe depression due to the loss of two of his children on seperate occassions
Loved ones often remark that depression has changed the person they love. They don't know if the apapathy they experience is a symptom of the depression or if their partner has fallen out of love with them. This leads to questions like "If he or she gets treatment for depression, will he or she fall back in love with me? There are so many factors involved with relationships that it is impossible to offer any black and white answers to such questions.
My Depressed Boyfriend, Partner is Pushing Me Away: Try This
Depression builds walls around people and between people. When someone you love has been dragged inside those walls, there can be a distance between you both that feels relentless. Not in the way you both want to be anyway. The symptoms of depression exist on a spectrum. Not everyone who has depression will have a formal diagnosis, so knowing what to watch out for can help to make sense of the changes you might notice. Depression looks like a withdrawal. It feels that way too. Depression sucks the life out of life.
What do I do if my partner with depression is pushing me away?
I have depression, and my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now. He has said before that my depression worries him because of his last girlfriend, who had depression. She didn't do anything about it and treated him badly. He has addressed it with me, and I see where he is coming from.
Verification sent. Please check your inbox to verify your address. It sounds like your partner is really struggling at the moment, and the negative, critical way he's talking to himself is not only affecting him, but you as well. The most powerful thing you can do for him, for yourself AND for your relationship is to tell him what your concerns are, and how they are affecting you.
Why do depressed people push loved ones away?
I so want to understand why my ex boyfriend has pushed me away I just want to speak with him Says he's falling apart, living his life is scary. It feels like he doesn't care at all, but he says he does but needs time to get his life together.
Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community. Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. It's awesome when people want to help and support another person struggling with depression, especially partners. Many people are afraid of depression and have no idea what to do. I will offer some suggestions. First of all, your GF's actions are very common.
These forums are a place where you can ask other young people advice on dealing with tough times and share your advice on what has worked for you. Please remember that it does not replace professional advice. Join the online community Login to post. You sound as if you are having a very tough time trying to cope with all this, and sadly I'm not sure there is a great deal you can do at the moment. As someone who has had bouts of depression I can say that your boyfriend may well be in a place where relationships, love and all seem remote, perhaps even too hard to deal with. If he is, as he says, seeing a doctor and starting on a health plan that is encouraging news.
Laurell K. If you love someone who is depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Be there for them, day in and day out, until they come through the other side. Angel and I have worked with dozens of depressed people over the years, and we have experienced bouts of depression ourselves.
Ask Erin: Is My Depression Pushing My Boyfriend Away?