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Questions to ask your fiance before you marry

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 50 MUST-ASK Questions Before Marriage

10 Questions to Ask Your Partner Before Getting Married or Engaged

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You will never get to know your partner perfectly. In fact, that's one of the beautiful things about being in a relationship: Your partner is constantly surprising you. That said, there are some basic things you probably should know before establishing a life with someone. Over on Reddit, there's a thread titled, " What questions should everyone ask their partners before getting married?

Below, we've highlighted seven of the most important questions from that thread. Read on and see which you still have to ask. That's a tip from IntoTheMystic1. It's best to address the topic of parenthood sooner rather than later, so no one winds up resentful — or heartbroken — years down the line. If you or your partner are understandably worried that having kids will change your relationship for the worse, you should arm yourself with knowledge about what helps parents maintain intimacy.

Some researchers suggest that there are certain "buffers" against marital disaster after the birth of a child, including:. That question comes from Back2Bach , who adds: "What can we do as a couple to divide the routine chores and responsibilities so that each feels they're making an equal contribution to the relationship and daily living?

Back2Bach is onto something: According to a Pew Research poll , sharing household chores is the third most important factor in a successful marriage. The first two are faithfulness and a happy sexual relationship. In an excerpt from "Fast-Forward Family" published in The Atlantic , three researchers write that even today, women tend to shoulder the brunt of their family's housework.

The researchers also write that having some guidelines about who does which chores when can be helpful:. Spouses who appeared to have a clear and respectful understanding of one another's roles and tasks, in contrast, did not spend as much time negotiating responsibilities; their daily lives seemed to flow more smoothly.

An honest conversation about finances — especially about debt — is key before getting married, or even getting serious. As Business Insider reported, lying about your debt can potentially destroy your relationship.

What's more, Rind said, "You need to know how somebody runs their finances because that totally affects the whole picture. Interestingly, spending time apart and getting some of your needs met outside your relationship may be exactly what your partnership needs.

For example, maybe your partner doesn't crave late-night philosophical debates the way you do; maybe a friend does. Finkel told Business Insider , "If you find yourself chronically disappointed in one element of your marriage, one of the really good ways of dealing with that is to think about: Is it really essential that I try to meet this need in particular through the marriage?

AvieLikesThis writes , "There are those who believe looking at pornography or going to strip clubs is cheating. Bottom line is, everyone has different limits. Establish the boundaries, before getting into a marriage. This question about infidelity has never been more relevant. As Insider's Kristin Salaky reports , "emotional affairs" are becoming increasingly common — and increasingly tricky to define.

Some signs that you're involved in an emotional affair include thinking about another person constantly and getting defensive when your partner confronts you about it. And if you're suspicious that your partner's having an emotional affair , take note of any differences in their sexual interest and pay attention to your gut feeling. As chosenamewhendrunk puts it :. Is there a point that neither of you can come back from? What is the deal breaker: infidelity, addiction, won't go to mother-in-law's for Christmas?

Don't freak out if your partner says they're open to the possibility of divorce — or if you realize you feel that way. Susan Pease Gadoua, coauthor of " The New I Do ," previously told Business Insider , "When people see divorce as never an option, it can create some unhealthy dynamics. That's because simply knowing that you have an "out" — even if you never use it — can be freeing. If you're staying in the relationship, it's because you want to. Writing for the BBC , psychologist Christian Jarrett cites several studies suggesting that people's personalities tend to change after they tie the knot.

For example, one Dutch study found that partners' levels of self-control and forgiveness increased over the first four years of marriage. Still, it's important to discuss how you'll change and grow together if you're planning to get married, as well as what you're afraid of and excited about.

Account icon An icon in the shape of a person's head and shoulders. It often indicates a user profile. Login Subscribe Subscribe. My Account. BI Prime Intelligence Logout. World globe An icon of the world globe, indicating different international options. Shana Lebowitz and Allana Akhtar. Valentine's Day is always a great time to appreciate your partner and reflect on your relationship.

Before getting too serious, there are certain facts you should definitely know about them, such as how much debt they have and how they feel about divorce. We checked out a Reddit thread on the topic and highlighted some of the most compelling questions. Visit Business Insider's homepage for more stories. Do you want kids? Who will do the cooking, laundry, and housework? How much debt if any do you have? How much time apart do you need? What do you consider cheating? How do you feel about divorce?

How will getting married change our relationship? Questions BIStrategy.

276 QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE YOU MARRY

You may find yourself asking questions like, " Is this someone I can see myself spending the rest of my life with? Life happens. Events change. Things could warp on a dime, and the person you were so sure about could turn out to be someone else entirely. And luckily, there are simple ways to figure out whether or not you and your partner are good matches for one another in the long term.

What does your job entail? For example, do you often travel for business, work at home, performs dangerous tasks? What is your retirement plan?

They falsely believe they are going to go through marriage together as husband and wife, just as harmoniously as they navigated their relationship in the beginning. But marriage brings new obstacles and hurdles to relationships that can pop up after a happy engagement. You'll be glad you did. What is your perspective of having one of us being a stay-at-home parent? If you or I have children from a previous relationship, how do you envision our blended family?

10 questions you should ask someone before marrying them

Whether because of shyness, lack of interest or a desire to preserve romantic mystery, many couples do n o t ask each other the difficult questions that can help build the foundation for a stable marriage, according to relationship experts. In addition to wanting someone with whom they can raise children and build a secure life, those considering marriage now expect their spouses to be both best friend and confidant. These romantic-comedy expectations, in part thanks to Hollywood, can be difficult to live up to. It can be hard to keep secrets decade after decade, and reticence before the wedding can lead to disappointments down the line. With the question of children , it is important to not just say what you think your partner wants to hear, according to Debbie Martinez , a divorce and relationship coach. Before marrying, couples should honestly discuss if they want children. How many do they want? At what point do they want to have them?

50 Questions You Must Ask Before Getting Married

A wedding is a time filled with many decisions, like which cake flavor, flowers or colors to choose, who to invite, whether or not to have a church wedding, what your first dance song should be —the list goes on. And while your wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event, what comes next is equally, if not more, important. Start with these questions:. Your credit score can make or break you. If your significant other refuses, it could be a red flag that something is amiss.

Falling in love with someone is an amazing feeling.

You will never get to know your partner perfectly. In fact, that's one of the beautiful things about being in a relationship: Your partner is constantly surprising you. That said, there are some basic things you probably should know before establishing a life with someone.

6 Questions To Ask Your Partner — And Yourself — Before Getting Married

Many marriage education experts and therapists caution that when couples believe in the myths of "happily-ever-after" or "love conquers all," problems in the marital relationship may surface within a short time after the wedding. The success or failure of your marital relationship may hinge on how well you deal with issues such as finances, sexuality, communication, conflict, parenting, in-laws, leisure time, family of origin, spirituality, expectations, and chores. Even though you may be very busy with wedding preparations , it is critical that you make time to prepare for your life together by exploring your relationship in more depth.

It signifies the love and commitment you have for each other. What beliefs do you have about yourself that resulted from your childhood? If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be and why? Were you allowed to express your emotions as a kid? Why or why not?

13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

Whether you're dreaming of getting engaged or have already picked out the floral arrangements for your wedding, the prospect of marriage can leave many people in a happy daze. But regardless of how long you've been with your partner, there could be a few things worth discussing before you exchange vows. Here are a few questions you may want to ask your partner before marrying them. It may not be romantic, but getting a clear picture of your partner's financial situation can help you to avoid some money-related surprises down the road. Does your partner have a lot of student loan debt? Do they have dozens of unpaid credit card bills? How far along are they in paying off their mortgage or car loan? Even if they seem to have their finances together, debt is fairly common and is worth discussing.

80 Intimate Questions for Couples. Here are some meaningful and fun questions to ask your boyfriend or girlfriend to keep the spark alive.

Because of each country's product availability, the selection on this site may not be the same as the one you were previously on. It's easy to get lost in the newness of a budding romance or in the comfort of a long-term, best friend-like commitment. But according to relationship experts, the key to happily ever after is being able to break out of that day-to-day zone and have meaningful, honest conversations about your personalities and your values—the ones you share and the ones you disagree on. And, where you're willing to compromise.

7 emotionally hard (but necessary) questions to ask your partner before getting serious

When we think about finding someone, falling in love, and settling down, we rarely like to think about one of the possible outcomes of getting married: getting divorced. Divorce is, unfortunately, a real part of some relationships. And, ideally, that starts way before you even get married. Asking the right questions can start you on the right foot for married life—and help keep divorce at bay.

10 Important Questions To Ask Before Getting Married

Marriage is a big step in a relationship. It signifies the commitment and love you have for someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. But love isn't always enough.

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